scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You've changed since you got that strap on
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
