I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
