don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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