She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
