So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Randomize
