Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
