You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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