so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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