I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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