Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
