Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
