I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize