I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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