that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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