She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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