This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
