How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
