I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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