I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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