Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
