it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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