A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
well you can't waste a boner
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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