he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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