Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
