a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
