I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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