I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
