I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
