I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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