better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
