im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize