You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
