Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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