I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
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