just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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