I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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