if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
