How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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