I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
