Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
