now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
