I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
