mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
