She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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