Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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