I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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