I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
