The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
