ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
