I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
