i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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