i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
