My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
that is very illegal...i love you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
