A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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