IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
