he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
