WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
