he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
