i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
