i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
