yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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