Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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