Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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