Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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