the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I want to have your abortion
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
