I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
