and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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