i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize