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• (512): View more from Texas

  Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class

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• (925): View more from California

  Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm high. ignore me

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• (352): View more from Florida

  A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text

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• (415): View more from California

  yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line

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• (914): View more from New York

  I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!

  (812): View more from Indiana

  It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.

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