You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I AM VODKA MAN
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
