you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
