Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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