I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
