If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
