Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
ok first of all what the fuck
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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