i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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