guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
