yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
