That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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