If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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