I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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