and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
